Have you ever been on social media, scrolled though your feed then felt completely envious of your social media friends?
You know, the friend who just ran a marathon?
Or the friend who just came back from a month-long Euro-trip?
Or the friend who is extremely fit and finds time to workout everyday?
Or the friend who works a 9-to-5 job and has young children but manages to have an immaculately spotless house and prepare a home-cooked meal for her family every night?
The friends who make you look at your own life and think, “Man, I want all of that! Why can’t I be more like them?”
I’m definitely guilty of doing this. I go through this process where I start wondering what secret sauce these ladies use to be able to do all the great things that they do in their busy lives. I get a little whiny and start wishing that I knew what that secret sauce was so I could use it in my own life.
Then I eventually realize that I already know what that secret sauce to having it all is. In all the self-help books I’ve read, all the live-your-best-life podcasts I’ve listened to, all the productivity blogs I’ve visited, I’ve figured out what I needed to do to have this seemingly unattainable ‘all’ in my life.
You wanna know how? It’s pretty simple.
The first thing that needs to be done is to remember that all your friends are different. They have different lives, different needs, different situations. Their set-ups are not your set-up. You may have many things in common with them but at the end of the day, it doesn’t make sense to compare what they have going on with what you have going on. Even if you have the same number of kids, your spouses are exactly alike, you both work in Corporate America, you are still different people with different wants and needs. Comparing your life with theirs will only drive you insane.
The second and most important thing to do is to redefine what ‘having it all’ means to you. Redefine what that ‘all’ is. Maybe your house is not super-clean all the time but if you’re not suffering from CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome. A Flylady term. Read all about it here) and you have a roof over your head, I’d say you’re doing ok. If you aren’t actually cooking a wholesome meal from your kitchen every single night but your little humans are still, in fact eating, then you are doing ok. If you don’t have the body of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model but you do take time to stay active and take care of your physical being, then you are doing ok.
Look, I’m not trying to oversimplify things or make light of this matter. And I’m not saying we shouldn’t all dream or strive for more.
All I’m saying is that if we start by being grateful for what we actually do have in our lives instead of lamenting over what we don’t have, we’ll put a stop to that stinkin’ thinkin’ that we must be doing something wrong because we don’t “have it all”. With this positive view of our lives, we’ll be in a better mindset to start checking things off our bucket lists and reach for other goals and dreams. If for some reason we fall short, we remember that we still have much to be thankful in our lives then we dust ourselves off and try again.
In a nutshell, the secret sauce to having it all is to believe that you already do have it all.